Really great episode of Hidden Brain this week. You can listen at the link above or subscribe through your podcasting app or go to the site.
Husby and I have discussed this tendency of “gender stratification.” We don’t feel as strongly about it as the people in the podcast. We’ve bought a few pink things and a few dresses. We’ll absolutely dress her up in cute, little, girly things.
But we’ve also bought things in other colors and styles. We’ve made a special effort to buy some neutral and even boyish things.
We absolutely want to raise a strong, independent, curious, hard-working, dynamic, charismatic, outgoing, uninhibited, righteous woman. I’m just not sure that means “genderless” or eschewing all the random things that our society associates with women and girls.
Misogyny is very real. I’ve seen it myself with my coworkers and friends. And I don’t want those things to happen to my daughter. But at the same time, I don’t think that in the realm of social and sexual dynamics different necessarily means unequal or unfair. So, while I wish there were more flexibility around our gender expectations in our society, (As a man, I think it would be OSSUM to wear skirts. Especially in summer. They would be very comfy and some of them look really cute!) I don’t think that conforming to some of those standards must necessarily erode one’s confidence, ability, self-esteem, curiosity, or any of those other valuable traits.
This is a complex topic and I don’t have all the answers. It’s something I think I’ll continue to wrestle with as our raise our daughter.