I recently discovered that my employer gives employees a free subscription to the Headspace app, so I’ve been trying to meditate again.  I’ve heard for years about the benefits of meditation and I had a subscription of my own for a little bit but cancelled it when I got out of the habit.  But, hey, free is free, so I decided to take it up again and I’ve been doing pretty well.

Here’s the problem: I am REALLY good at sleeping.

I sleep for a solid 7 – 8 hours each night and I rarely ever have any trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.  I very much prefer to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day and it only takes me a couple of days to fall adapt to a new schedule when things change. For instance, I woke up at 5am on Wednesday and Thursday because I needed to catch an early train to the city.  So, this morning, Friday, I woke up at 5am again on my own without an alarm clock.

One of the ways I’ve learned to put myself to sleep is by using some basic techniques that I have since learned are closely related to how one enters into a meditative state.

This means that oftentimes when I’m trying to meditate and my mind starts to wander, it wanders off into a dream state and I start to doze off.

I have not been able to achieve the relaxed-but-focused state of meditation very often.  I certainly have not been able to maintain it for very long.  At best, I can get about three breaths before images and words blast through my mind and lead me away from a state of observation.

Thankfully, meditation is something one practices and never completes or perfects.  So, I don’t blame myself for all this.  I’m also not going to give up my ability to sleep easily, so I’ll just have to keep working at it.

But still.